FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this religious or faith-based therapy?

No. Unlike some models of discernment counseling that are faith-based, my approach is entirely psychological, evidence-informed, and non-religious. It’s grounded in attachment science, trauma-informed practice, and decision-making frameworks. You do not need to share any religious beliefs to benefit.

Is this therapy only for romantic relationships?

No. While it is often used for romantic partnerships, the framework can be applied to any emotionally significant relationship where there’s uncertainty or harm. For example, people may seek clarity about relationships with parents, siblings, or friends, especially in cases of emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviour, or chronic conflict.

Will this therapy help if I'm considering divorce / separation?

Yes. Relationship Clarity therapy can help you understand your feelings, identify patterns, and clarify the best next steps — whether that is repair, separation, or ending the relationship. The focus is on informed and thoughtful choices, not pushing toward any particular outcome.

What issues does this type of therapy address?

Relationship clarity / decision therapy is supportive for:

• Mixed-agenda couples (one partner wants to stay, one wants to leave)

• Emotional abuse or narcissistic dynamics

• Relationship burnout or repeated conflict cycles

• Loss of intimacy or connection

• Decisions about family or non-romantic relationships

What is relationship clarity or decision therapy?

Relationship clarity (sometimes called decision therapy) is a short-term, structured approach to help individuals and couples who feel stuck or uncertain about a relationship. It’s designed for people asking, “should I stay or leave?” The process focuses on understanding relational patterns, emotional responses, and your personal values so you can make thoughtful, grounded decisions rather than reactive ones.

How is this different from regular couples therapy?

Traditional couples therapy usually focuses on improving communication, resolving conflicts, or strengthening the relationship over time. Relationship clarity / decision / discernment therapy is specifically for situations where one or both partners are unsure about the future. It helps clarify options and emotional readiness before deciding whether to continue or separate, whether that’s within a romantic partnership or any significant relationship.

Can I do this therapy if only one person wants to engage?

Yes. Many people come individually to understand their feelings, patterns, and next steps before involving a partner. Working alone can provide clarity and confidence to approach the relationship thoughtfully, while still offering couples sessions later if desired.

How long does relationship clarity / decision therapy take?

Relationship clarity therapy is generally short-term, often between 4 to 8 focused sessions. Some clients achieve clarity sooner, while others may benefit from additional sessions to process emotions or prepare for separation. The goal is depth, not duration.

What if I'm afraid to make the wrong decision?

Decision therapy doesn’t pressure you to make a final choice immediately. Instead, it focuses on gathering insight, understanding patterns, and aligning your choices with your values. Many clients report feeling relief and reduced anxiety simply from seeing their situation more clearly, even before deciding.

Discernment Counselling FAQs

What is polyvagal-informed therapy?

Polyvagal-informed therapy is based on the science of the nervous system. It helps you understand why you may:

• shut down or numb out

• freeze or feel paralyzed

• become overwhelmed or panicked

• people-please for safety

• feel “too sensitive” or “too much”

Polyvagal therapy focuses on cues of safety, breath, posture, connection, and body awareness to help shift the nervous system from survival mode into regulated, grounded presence. This is especially helpful when talking alone is not enough.

What is EMDR-informed therapy?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is an evidence-based trauma therapy approach that helps the brain and nervous system process experiences that feel “stuck.”
Rather than retelling every detail, EMDR works by engaging the brain’s natural healing processes while you remain grounded and supported. Many clients appreciate that EMDR does not require deep analysis to create relief. EMDR supports reducing distress connected to painful memories and softening triggers and emotional overwhelm. This can decrease negative self-beliefs like “I am weak” or “It was my fault” and increase feelings of safety, confidence, and calm.

Is there something "wrong" with me because I still feel affected by the past?

No. Trauma lives in the nervous system, not in willpower. Your responses, such as anxiety, numbness, shutdown, reactivity, caretaking, were ways your body learned to protect you. Therapy helps you update the system so it realizes you are safer now. There is nothing broken in you, there is something overloaded that deserves care.

Can trauma therapy help with narcissistic abuse or emotional neglect?

Yes. Trauma from narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation often does not look like “traditional trauma,” yet it can deeply affect self-worth and trust.
Therapy can help you untangle guilt, self-doubt, and confusion. This helps rebuild a sense of self and strengthen boundaries. Trauma therapy helps you heal from chronic fawning or over-functioning and reconnect with your needs and voice. You are not dramatic, weak, or oversensitive, your nervous system adapted to survive.

What approaches do you use in trauma therapy?

I integrate a variety of evidence-backed approaches to support healing, including polyvagal-informed work, principles from EMDR, parts work, ACT, mindfulness and self-compassion, and trauma-informed narrative therapy. Therapy with me is collaborative; we work together every step of the way.

What is trauma therapy?

Trauma therapy supports people who have experienced overwhelming or painful events, whether they were single incidents (accidents, medical events, loss) or chronic experiences (neglect, emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, childhood trauma, relational trauma). Therapy helps your nervous system feel safer, process memories in a gentler way, and reduce symptoms like anxiety, shutdown, nightmares, emotional flooding, and self-blame. The goal is not to erase the past, but to help you feel more regulated, connected, and present in your life again.

How do I know if trauma therapy might help me?

People often seek trauma therapy when they notice:

• feeling on edge or easily startled

• emotional numbness or shutdown

• people-pleasing or over-functioning to stay safe

• difficulty trusting or relaxing with others

• intrusive thoughts or recurring memories

• shame, self-criticism, or feeling broken

• chronic stress or burnout that will not lift

• patterns of unhealthy relationships

If you recognize yourself in any of these, you do not have to go through it alone. Trauma therapy can help your body and mind feel steadier and safer.

What happens in trauma therapy sessions?

Sessions move at your pace. We do not rush into painful memories or force retelling. Instead, we focus on:

• building emotional and nervous-system safety

• learning grounding and regulation tools

• gently processing stored experiences

• strengthening self-compassion and boundaries

• reconnecting with values, identity, and meaning

You are in control of the process, you can pause, slow down, or redirect at any time.

How does EMDR-informed therapy actually work?

EMDR uses forms of bilateral stimulation (such as guided eye movements or alternating taps) while we focus on small pieces of memory or body sensation at a time. This helps the brain move experiences from “raw survival memory” into “processed story”. This helps to reduce the emotional charge of triggers and integrate new, more compassionate beliefs. You remain fully conscious and in control the entire time. You do not relive trauma, you process it with support.

Do I have to talk about my trauma in detail?

No. You never need to describe anything you do not want to. Many people heal without recounting events. We can work with nervous system responses, emotions and beliefs, current triggers, and body sensations. Your story belongs to you. Therapy is about relief, not exposure.

How long does trauma therapy take?

Healing does not follow a timeline. Some people feel noticeable relief within weeks, while others prefer longer-term work focused on deeper integration, identity, and relationships. We will decide together what feels right for your goals and nervous system.

Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse FAQs

How long does it usually take to feel relief in therapy?

Many people start to feel some sense of relief within the first few sessions, simply from being heard, understood, and not having to carry everything alone. Deeper change takes time and varies depending on your goals, history, and nervous system. Some people work short-term; others benefit from longer therapy. We will check in regularly about what is helping so you can see progress and feel confident that therapy is supporting you.

What type of therapist are you?

I am a trauma-informed Registered Psychotherapist, Qualifying who enjoys integrating Narrative Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), relational therapy, EMDR-informed and parts-based, and polyvagal-informed nervous system work. Therapy is collaborative, paced, and tailored to your goals and lived experience.

Do you offer virtual therapy in Ontario?

Yes. I offer secure, confidential online psychotherapy for adults and couples across Ontario, as well as Newfoundland and British Columbia. Virtual therapy allows you to access support from the comfort of your own space and can be just as effective as in-person therapy for many concerns, including trauma, anxiety, and relationship challenges.

Do you offer virtual therapy in Newfoundland and Labrador?

Yes. I offer secure, confidential online psychotherapy for adults and couples across Newfoundland. Many clients find virtual therapy more accessible and grounding, especially when working with nervous system-focused interventions. Research shows that online therapy can be highly effective for trauma and anxiety.

What issues do you specialize in?

I enjoy trauma-informed psychotherapy work with adults in Ontario and Newfoundland, including narcissistic abuse recovery, decision making and life changes, and nervous system regulation. I support individuals and couples with relationship discernment.

How do I choose the right therapist for me?

The most important factor is how you feel with the therapist. Do you feel understood, respected, and safe being yourself? Training and methods matter, but evidence shows that the relationship is the biggest predictor of healing. Check out my videos and bio to see if my style and approach resonate with you. A free consultation can be helpful to get a sense of fit without pressure. If at any point you feel a therapist is not the right match, it is okay to say so, your therapy should feel supportive, not forced.

Do I need a diagnosis or referral to start therapy?

No. You do not need a formal diagnosis or referral to begin therapy. Some clients find diagnoses helpful; others do not want or need one. We can discuss this openly and make a decision that fits you. What matters most is not a label, but how your experiences are impacting your life, relationships, and sense of self, and how you would like to feel instead.

How do I know if therapy is right for me right now?

Therapy can be helpful any time life starts to feel overwhelming, stuck, confusing, or heavier than usual. Some people come because of anxiety, low mood, relationship issues, trauma, stress, or burnout. Others come because life “looks fine on paper,” but inside they feel numb, lost, or disconnected from themselves. You do not have to be in crisis or “bad enough” to deserve support. If you are wondering whether therapy might help, that is often the clearest sign you are ready to talk to someone.

What problems can therapy help with?

Therapy can support a wide range of concerns including anxiety, stress, trauma, grief, relationship struggles, low self-worth, depression, life transitions, chronic illness, emotional overwhelm, and feeling “not like myself.” Therapy can also help with patterns such as people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional shutdown, or difficulty setting boundaries. At its core, therapy is not only about solving problems; it is about helping you feel safer in your body, clearer in your mind, and more connected to yourself and others.

Where are you licensed to provide therapy?

I am licensed to provide therapy in Ontario, Newfoundland, and British Columbia. I am a Registered Psychotherapist, Qualifying (RP-Q)with the CRPO and a Canadian Certified Counsellor(CCC) with the CCPA.

What happens in a typical therapy session?

Sessions are conversations where we explore what you are going through with compassion and curiosity. You are not expected to perform, say the “right” thing, or share more than you are ready for. We may talk, notice what is happening in your body, explore patterns, or practice gentle regulation skills. My role is not to judge or tell you who to be; it is to walk alongside you, help your nervous system feel safer, and support changes that matter to you in your life.

What if I have never done therapy before and feel nervous?

Feeling nervous is extremely common. Many people worry they will not know what to say or that their problems are “not bad enough.” In therapy, there is no test to pass. You can come exactly as you are, even unsure, overwhelmed, or quiet. We will go at your pace, and I will guide the process so you do not have to figure it out alone. Your only job is to show up.

How do online sessions work?

Online therapy is offered through secure video sessions that you can attend from home, work, or a private space. All you need is a reliable internet connection and headphones if preferred. Many clients appreciate the flexibility, privacy, and comfort of meeting from their own environment. Online therapy is just as meaningful as in-person work, and many people feel more relaxed and open when they are in a familiar space.

Is therapy covered under OHIP?

No, psychotherapy is not covered under the Ontario Health Insurance Plan (OHIP). Please check with your insurance provider to confirm your coverage for services provided by a Registered Psychotherapist or Counsellor.

Is therapy confidential and how is my information protected?

Yes, your information is kept confidential and protected according to professional and legal standards. The only limits to confidentiality involve safety concerns, such as risk of harm to yourself or others, or legal requirements related to child protection. We review these limits clearly at the beginning so you know exactly what to expect. Outside of these rare circumstances, what you share in therapy stays in therapy.

The Therapy Process FAQs