Something isn't working between us
Hi! I'm glad you are here
Welcome! You are here to learn a bit more after finding me Psychology Today. High five for doing your research! You are here because something isn't working in your relationship. You are looking for a therapist who can help you make sense of what you are experiencing, not simply give you another list of things to try.
Who do I typically work with?
Anyone impacted by relationships (isn't that all of us?). I work with individuals and couples who want to understand themselves and their relationships more deeply. I help you determine the cycle that creates distance and hurt and begin to understand what triggers the reactions. This creates new possibilities and you will begin to find different ways of relating.
People I sit with are:
a couple
an individual trying to change their relationship
someone wondering whether to stay
someone trying to understand a recurring relational pattern
What if my partner isn't on board?
Sometimes one person is ready to work on the relationship before the other is. You don't have to wait for your partner to be ready to begin understanding what's happening. Individual therapy can be a space to explore your own patterns, boundaries, needs, and choices within the relationship, even when your partner isn't participating.
What Working with Me is Like
Effective couples therapy is about understanding what keeps happening between you.
You know how you feel in the relationship, perhaps you may even know what the problem is. But you are stuck, nothing is changing.
Together, we will slow things down and become curious about what is happening underneath the conflict. What does each of you need but struggle to communicate? What happens when you feel hurt by your partner? How do you individual patterns interact to create the cycle you are both stuck in?
Rather than seeing one partner as the problem, I want to understand the pattern between you. The goal isn't simply to learn better communication techniques, but to understand why the same patterns keep emerging, so that you can begin responding to one another differently.
Getting to know you, in your relationship
In couples therapy, I typically begin with a session together, followed by an individual session with each partner. This gives us the opportunity to understand the relationship while also getting to know each of you as individuals. We then return to working together as a couple for the remainder of therapy.
You don't need to arrive knowing what is wrong or what needs to change. The first part of our work is often about understanding the landscape: your relationship history, individual experiences, emotional patters, strengths, and the cycle that has developed between you.
Beyond the immediate problem
Sometimes you come to therapy wanting something to change right away. You want the arguments to stop, the anxiety to settle, the resentment to go away, or to finally feel close again. Those concerns matter, and part of our work is helping you find some relief.
But lasting change often requires looking beneath the immediate problem. The conflict itself is only part of the story. We want to understand what makes each of your vulnerable to getting pulled into the cycle in the first place, and what happens once you are there.
This deeper work takes time. It involves developing a greater understanding of yourselves, each other, and the relationship you're creating together. With that understanding can come more choice: the ability to notice the cycle earlier, respond differently, and create a new experience of being together.
Consultation
A quick note about consultations: I don't think either of us can know if it is a good fit in 15-minutes. Let's take that pressure away! I think you can get a good sense, and then the first few sessions are really where we begin getting to know each other and figuring out how we can work together. You don't need to arrive knowing exactly what you need from therapy, we figure that out together over time.
The consultation is an opportunity to briefly connect, hear a little about what brings you to therapy, and answer questions you may have before deciding whether you'd like to begin.
The consultation can help answer questions such as:
Do you work with what I am experiencing?
What is your approach to therapy? See description here and above.
What are your fees and availability? Click here for my fees. Click here for my availability.
What can I expect from the first few sessions?
What happens if I am not sure if I want to stay in my relationship?
Other frequently asked questions can be found on my website, such as:
Do you offer individual or couples therapy?
I offer both! Learn more about individual therapy here, and couples therapy here.
For couples, do you work with both partners together, or are individual sessions sometimes part of the process?
Great question! I meet with the couple first for a session, then meet each partner individually once for a 50-minute session. After that, we meet as a couple for the remainder of therapy.
Do you offer in-person therapy?
Not at this time. I offer virtual sessions only.
You don't have to book a consultation if you already have the information you need to feel comfortable taking the next step. Some clients prefer a brief meet-and-greet before beginning therapy, while others feel ready to book an initial session. There is no right or wrong choice, please choose whatever feels most comfortable for you.
